March 8, 2010

March 2010: What a View

Oh, what a difference a year makes.

Last year at this time, I was preparing for Evie's second birthday, trying in vain to imagine a way out of Reno, and (since large-scale change felt nearly impossible) focusing on incremental changes such as exercising regularly and upgrading the light fixtures in my house.

Flash forward to 2010. In the past 12 months, the following things have happened:

  • After 9 years with the same employer, I was laid off
  • I realized that yoga, spiritual clarity, and self-control were within my capabilities
  • I was unemployed and wrote website copy on the topics of rain barrels and lawn chairs
  • I went to my 10-year college reunion and discovered that I must have moved up in the world, because the dorm that once seemed luxurious to me was now dreadful
  • I interviewed for a job that seemed far too big for me, and I got it
  • I strapped a 2-year-old into a car seat and drove 1,800 miles
  • I met people whom I'd only known on the Internet and confirmed that yes, real friendships can flourish from digital ones
  • I bought suits and wore them, not just for interviews
  • I rediscovered cheesy puffcorn, pizza cut into squares, and a little bit of that weight I had lost back in Nevada
  • I moved from my own house into a rental townhouse and immediately remembered an underrated benefit of home ownership: not having to care what type of music your neighbors enjoy
  • I completely revised my career trajectory, my goals, and my professional sense of self
  • I spent more time with my family and in-laws in a few months than I had in the past decade, relishing every moment of it
  • I sometimes feared that I was living in a daydream, and that I'd wake up from a coma or a deep nap back in Reno
  • I got pregnant with baby #2, a little boy
That last bullet point brings us to today.

When I saw the date of my last post, I thought of starting fresh with an altogether new blog. Gone is the shlubby Reno office park worker with one kid - I'm Minnesota me now! I ride the bus and listen to public radio and have big ideas on social media and employee engagement.

But doing so would miss the whole point. Everything that's new is rooted in something that came before. This isn't a new story; it's a continuation of Bridge Over Bottled Water. It's the story that started in Nevada, that almost brought me here 18 months ago. When I read my posts from prior years, I sometimes cringe at that naive narrator. The silly musings of a first-time mother. The crushing disappointment of a rejected job applicant. The frustration of feeling stuck, hopeless, not realizing that a better job and a better life were less than a year away.

I won't pretend I'm not that person anymore, but I am wiser than I once was.

Last March, only the small things in my life were changing. This March, I stand at the precipice of great motion: Today, I learned I'm having a son. Tomorrow, we're submitting an offer on a house that we love enough to want to raise our children there. It's entirely possible that I have already seen the people (albeit one of us on a grainy ultrasound screen) and the place that will be of most significance for the coming decades of my life. I've never stood in a place where I could see this far ahead. Even if it all turns out to be a daydream, it sure is a beautiful one.

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